Saturday, March 6, 2010

Sharing About The Past?


First love, second love, third love..

There’s a quote : First love, is the everlasting one. Eventhough it doesn’t literally ever last, but it does stay in your mind forever. Doesn’t it? (I’m asking doesn’t mean I’m agreeing..~)

Everything starts with the firsts. But the firsts do not always last..that’s why we’ll have the second and the third. Definitely beybeh! Haha..

Emm…okay, let’s put it this way.. what I’m gonna talk in this post is…about sharing the past-failed-love relationship histories with your current other half, that might be.. your last one. So what’s your opinion ppl? Do you really think it’s fine for us to be open with our bf/gf talking about the loves that came before you met him/her? Is that necessary?

The fact that, when we are head-over-heels into that someone, we craveee to know anything and everything and every single thing about the special someone. His backgrounds, his families, his friends, his stuffs, his activities, his whateva! Including, his previous..love. Because we came filling the empty spaces in the heart which previously owned by..someone else. The heart which we were not destined to be the first one to conquer. Nah, admit it. The curiosity is apparent. Everyone craves to know about it. You crave to know about it. Me? C’mon…trust me, I DON’T.

“Salz, you’re denying.” “No, it’s not a denial”

So ok, let me share with you all my opinions. Honestly, before the current one, I’ve gone thru phases of loves..meeting a guy, being in love, quarrelling, loving, jealousy, missing, caring etc…Until the phase that there’s no solution anymore, breakups took its charge. Being single…frustrations, loneliness, freedom. Going with the flow, we wished to forget the dreadful memories but c’mon, it’s not that easy isn’t it? Then we tend to talk about it from time to time, once in a while. We do that with our buddies..meaning, girls buddies.. but then, what about until the part that we’ve met a new ‘someone’? Are we still gonna talk about it anymore, with him?

It’s like, “sharing-everything-yet-no-secrecy-between-us” promises? No, no…that’s not my style. We’ve heard this : Let bygone be bygone. So? Let it go! Like me and my darl, our relationship is still so new.. It’s been a long time since the first time we met (refer to the love story post =p) but we were not fated to be together back then. Him with his things, me with my own life. Only after a few years, the time came. And up until now, I can say it’s one of the most precious things that has ever happened in my life…Fine, I know it’s still early for me to say that..Don’t know what’s gonna happen in the future..But the thing is, I appreciate every single moment being with him..Yes, appreciate what you have now. Why should we turn back remembering the past, where your ‘now’ is creating its memories? Hold on to it..Pay attention to it..

InsyaAllah, we'll have a few years more on the way to the ‘big day’..Meanwhile, it’s the time for us to get to know each other..yet, knowing your partner is never-ending I must say..so why waste time talking about the dark past? Guess it's none of either party’s business and no good for the relationship if it's thrown out when the relationship is too immature for us to be able to put it in proper perspective and determine if we can handle the details or not…Easy that is, keep it silent then maybe we can forget about it someday? Too good to be true..hahah.. Still, hopefully so.

And the same goes to him.. Guess he went thru tough times before..Being broken-hearted..Dunno the details..So juz let it be. I also have my typical-lady-emotion to control..So be selfish this time. It’s for the sake of our relationship. It’s for our own good. We’re not each other’s first love..Of course, bcoz we met only at our mid-20s so most ppl have started to be in a love relationship earlier than these ages. Nevertheless, first love doesn’t always have to be the true love rite..It can only be an experience and failure is a better teacher so take the lessons from the history. We gotta do the best for our relationship despite the darkness of our past.

And my past? Well, I’m smiling now.. be adult guys, forgive and forget..if you couldn’t forget, just don’t care. For anything that happened, we might also be at fault. So move on. Remember, pay attention to your now. It’s creating memories so don’t miss every single dot coz it will be reminisced. To my exes, wishing you all the best with the love of your life now..Kawin xyah jemput. Haha…

Specially for my syg…
“After I found you..My life becomes all about making you happy..”

10 comments on "Sharing About The Past?"

bluerose1211 on Monday, March 08, 2010 said...

for me..forget the past,live in with what u have now..dats y aku pon xpenah tye n xnk amek tau..aku mcm ko jgk..bahaye kalo tau..sbb akan jeles..kan2..but somehow,rase nk tau tu ade,tp wat bodo je..

let gone be by gone..yezza..

tp die kdg2 tye jgk..hu..i think depends kt certain people la...len org,len cr nye kot..mybe guys bley handle..tp girls kn emotional lebey..wuwu..

my opinion..

SALZvatore on Monday, March 08, 2010 said...

thanks 4 the opinion naddy! dats what i said..'typical-lady-emotion'..emotional! hehe

eddyerman on Tuesday, March 09, 2010 said...

biarlah yg lepas...yg penting apa yg kita nak plan akan datang kan;)
i love u...n ur one of the most precious things that i hv right now too...
honey...
so love me bcoz i love u so much

SALZvatore on Tuesday, March 09, 2010 said...

yeah darling...its boud the future! i miss you sooo....

kawanpunyakawan said...

ni 1st time aku sampai sini so hello there! =) ..and a comment to keep ppl talk abt this XD

the ability to handle and talk abt their better-half's past merely depends on the person asking(pandai tanya pandai la terima, kan?haha), not the gender. some can handle it while others can't. mari kita buat sedikit analisa;

*negativity from knowing his/her past:
- kita akan jeles bila mendengar part2 hepi diorg
- akan sensitip when anything related to his/her past muncul depan si dia
- terasa macam dapat barangan terpakai
- benci y kita bkn org 1st y menawan hati si dia
- akan jadi self-conscious dan terasa tergugat bila out of nowhere he/she timbulkan kisah lama

*tapi point2 diatas boleh di-counterattack dengan:
- dapat kenal side si dia y kita tak kenal sebelum ni
- dapat tau apa y buatkan dia hepi n sedih so bole belajar dari kesilapan minah/mamat y lalu
- it is not 'terpakai' actually, but try to look at it more like improved-contohnye macam da hantar kpd pakar utk upgrade bf/gf kita ni-hasilnya kini dia lebih matang, berhati2, etc.
- bkn 1st crush si sia tp ade peluang nk jd 1st y dapat simpan hati dia? and this is up to you and your efforts la jugak,kan?=)
- rasa tergugat tu is a self-defence mechanism, mmg la tak selesa, tp itu adalah reminder y kita kene makesure we did whatever we can to keep him/her craving for our kasih sayang, tak gitu? it is when couples takes things for granted yang perasaan tu jadi lemah tu..so work hard!

hahaha sori panjang plak tp sonok sbb ive got a very diff opinion from urs back in ur post. to me i'd rather know my partner in and out than just welcoming a potential trouble-maker into my love life. kalo ade bende y kita tak boleh tolerate, awal2 bole tolak, not after it got in so deep and cancerous i'll die getting rid of it.

wish u n eddy a long lasting relationship.
will drop by this blog from time to time so keep them perspective-opening posts coming!
have a happy day, cik salz! =)

SALZvatore on Tuesday, March 23, 2010 said...

wow! i dunno dat my blog got an unknown reader! opinion-generous plak tu~ kawanpunyakawan cmonn..it's a clean blog so why be anonymous? see right---->add me quick! ;)

ouh, ur comment..anywayss..heres some rebuttals :

-to me, u can get to know/learn about ur other half thru ur both OWN experience what...why shud still look back? ur NEW person to him/her so ur story would COMPLETELY uncomparable unless u think urs not exclusive?fine then.

-ur 5th point, so its like competing with someone (his/her ex) whch has gone for a new life but u, still using them as a "reminder for u to work hard"? shud u be reminded to love someone that ur in love with?

-then how if ur bf/gf isn't as good as ur ex?even tho uve broken up, if the qualities of ur ex r actly good then u cant deny the truth.so if ur current cant beat ur ex in certain values then how does ur sharing-about-the-past attitude help?

if it is "xbole tolerate awal2 bole tolak", baik analyse ur potential partner from A-Z b4 u decided to be serious/declare..

well actly, my opinion about this was not so firm at first bcoz i noe there r lotsa ppl wud argue my say with own points.but when reading ur opinion, lagi lah i against that.huhu..

wah..thanks 4 d prayer! u too! but dunno u and dunno ur other half..still,long last! =)

Anonymous said...

hi sal!long time no see!

it's my first post here..and 1st read ur blog! ;)quite impressive, mate..

actually, when u share with ur new partner about ur previous love, it's kind of comparing the past and the present bf/gf..the partner will feel like u want him/her to be like ur past..if it is a gud thing la..and if u really wanted he/she be such like ur previous love, so why don't u just get back to him/her? but the gud thing is, it will reminds the present not to do such things bad like the previous did..so it's kinda reminder as well.. i experienced this before and i don't like it when my partner started it..it will also reminds the partner to his/her previous love..just let bygone be bygone..start a new chapter, vanish the previous unsuccessful experiences..

just my 2cents..

SALZvatore on Thursday, March 25, 2010 said...

yeahh...both are not definite..there are also good things boud sharing-past i noe i noe..eventually, back to your preference and how u want it to be lah..
well these posts are also my two cents..hey who r u??tls name laa =)

nickname said...

yep..agree..

sorry..i'm no blogger and i think it's better for me to be anonymous..i'm an old friend of yours! ;) perhaps, i'll just use a nickname okay? anyway, loved to read ur posts! quite impressive,mate.. ;)

SALZvatore on Sunday, March 28, 2010 said...

TQ nickname! =)

SaLz MaLiQue

SaLz MaLiQue
| 24 years old | taurus | female | in a relationship |

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